>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: Why are you late?
>BARBIE : Because of the sign.
>TEACHER: What sign?
>BARBIE : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: Joy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
>JOY : You told me to do it without using tables!
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: Stephen, how do you spell "crocodile"?
>STEPHEN : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
>TEACHER: No, that's wrong
>STEPHEN : Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
>GERMAN : "HIJKLMNO"!!
>TEACHER: What are you talking about?
>GERMAN : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: Sonjay, go to the map and find North America.
>SONJAY : Here it is!
>TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
>CLASS : Sonjay!
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: William, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
>have ten years ago.
>BYRON : Me!
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER : Benjamin, why do you always get so dirty?
>BENJAMIN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>CELIA : Dad, can you write in the dark?
>FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
>CELIA : Your name on this report card.
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
>BOBS : Don't bite any.
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: Nova, give me a sentence starting with "I".
>NOVA : I is...
>TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
>NOVA : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
>TINTIN : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday at the
>same time."
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and
>one is blue with red spots!
>LARRY : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at
>home.
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: Where did you got you good looks.
>JANIE: "I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl,
> " 'cause Mommy's still got hers.
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,
>what virtue would I be showing?
>ROLDAN : Brotherly love.
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: Now, Ivan, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
>IVAN : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
>-----------------------------------------------------

>-----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are
>no longer interested?
>DAISY : A teacher.
>-----------------------------------------------------